Things I’ve Learnt

Long ago, when I was 19 and still a radio junkie, I was listening to one of those night shows they had on Cool FM – don’t remember the title or the show now – and the presenter read out all of these with the title “I’ve learnt that…”. I was an agile kid, I took it all down. All of it didn’t add up then, they still all don’t add up now, but, I like them and I’m sharing them and you’re gonna read them 😛

You heard!

I’ve learnt that,

  • Just because you like someone doesn’t mean they’ll like you back
  • It takes years to build trust but only seconds to destroy it
  • You can get on charm for about 15 seconds, after that you had better know something
  • You shouldn’t compare yourself to the best others can do, but the best you can do
  • We don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change
  • You shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret, it could change your life forever
  • Two people can look at the exact same thing and see something different
  • There are many ways of falling and staying in love
  • Your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don’t know you
  • The paradigm we live is not all that’s offered to us
  • What you see isn’t always what you get
  • It’s not what happens to people that’s important, it’s what they do about it
  • No matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides
  • You should always leave loved ones with loving words; it may be the last time you’ll see them
  • You can’t keep going long after you think you can’t
  • No matter how broken your heart is, the world doesn’t stop for your grief
  • The law of give and it shall be given unto you, doesn’t always apply
  • Good or bad sex is just a thing of the mind
  • Just because two people argue doesn’t mean they don’t love each other and because they don’t doesn’t mean they do
  • Sometimes, you have to put the individual ahead of their actions
  • Our backgrounds and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become
  • Sometimes when friends fight, you’re forced to choose sides even when you don’t want to
  • Heroes are people who do what needs to be done, regardless of the consequences
  • Learning to forgive takes practice
  • No matter how good someone is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that
  • It isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others, sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself
  • Absence most times doesn’t make the heart grow fonder
  • Bad things happen to good people
  • The patient dog might just die of hunger
  • Not everyone is cut out for marriage
  • Change is the only constant thing in life

That’s all folks!


The aggrieved.

Yup. That’s me.

I work in my office (yeah, obviously) and I had a very best friend. She didn’t die. She resigned. And in a little over 36 hours, every step I’ve taken at work has come with pitying glances, hoping I’m fine.

Here are a number of reactions/responses I’ve gotten:


The Cleaner: Adeola, she no come yesterday and I no see her today, hope everything is fine?

Me: *flippanty* (or at least feigning it perfectly) She’s fine. She got a new job. She’s moved on.

The Cleaner: Hey! Sorry o! Eeyahhhh! Pele. God will create a way for you too o!

Me: *walking away wondering at what point I complained about my job to her and shaking my head* Amen


The Spirited Colleague: Hey, what’s this gist I’m hearing that she has moved? Is it true?

Me: Yup. Friday was her last.

The Spirited Colleague: Aww. I’m here for you! I know the void is too large to be filled but I’ll try. You hear?

Me: *With  a fake smile* I hear.


The very slow geek: Where’s your sister?

Me: *frustrated* She resigned.

The very slow geek: Aww. Why didn’t she take you along?

Me: As her handbag?

The very slow geek: No now, like get you a job there too

Me: *too tired to contain it* *fake smile* Ok! So you got your answer about her whereabouts, I need to go now. Bye!


The Team Lead: Aww ‘Deola, see how quiet you are ’cause she’s not around. Don’t worry, we’d soon employ someone to fill her position. I’m trying to find someone like you so you can get along nicely. Do you want a boy or a girl?

(I hope you share my exasperated sentiments at this point)

Others have included offers to go home with me, unexpected hugs, exaggerated kindness and of course the pitying glances

I’m getting pushed to putting up a sign at the door of my department that says;

“Hello people, this too shall pass! Can you help make it faster by being normal and not doing a poor job at feigning it, it’s starting to piss me off!”

I know they care, and I know it’s sheer love and compassion but  it’s not helping me one bit.

On the flip side, I miss you nigger and I miss the way it used to be. Remember this?

Voiceless “Mirror on the wall” cover