Yup. That’s me.
I work in my office (yeah, obviously) and I had a very best friend. She didn’t die. She resigned. And in a little over 36 hours, every step I’ve taken at work has come with pitying glances, hoping I’m fine.
Here are a number of reactions/responses I’ve gotten:
The Cleaner: Adeola, she no come yesterday and I no see her today, hope everything is fine?
Me: *flippanty* (or at least feigning it perfectly) She’s fine. She got a new job. She’s moved on.
The Cleaner: Hey! Sorry o! Eeyahhhh! Pele. God will create a way for you too o!
Me: *walking away wondering at what point I complained about my job to her and shaking my head* Amen
The Spirited Colleague: Hey, what’s this gist I’m hearing that she has moved? Is it true?
Me: Yup. Friday was her last.
The Spirited Colleague: Aww. I’m here for you! I know the void is too large to be filled but I’ll try. You hear?
Me: *With a fake smile* I hear.
The very slow geek: Where’s your sister?
Me: *frustrated* She resigned.
The very slow geek: Aww. Why didn’t she take you along?
Me: As her handbag?
The very slow geek: No now, like get you a job there too
Me: *too tired to contain it* *fake smile* Ok! So you got your answer about her whereabouts, I need to go now. Bye!
The Team Lead: Aww ‘Deola, see how quiet you are ’cause she’s not around. Don’t worry, we’d soon employ someone to fill her position. I’m trying to find someone like you so you can get along nicely. Do you want a boy or a girl?
(I hope you share my exasperated sentiments at this point)
Others have included offers to go home with me, unexpected hugs, exaggerated kindness and of course the pitying glances
I’m getting pushed to putting up a sign at the door of my department that says;
“Hello people, this too shall pass! Can you help make it faster by being normal and not doing a poor job at feigning it, it’s starting to piss me off!”
I know they care, and I know it’s sheer love and compassion but it’s not helping me one bit.
On the flip side, I miss you nigger and I miss the way it used to be. Remember this?