Things Change

1991

A bright-eyed 6 year old walks into a room full of adults. With a cheerful smile,she greets politely.
Her parents are beaming with pride, their friends are looking with admiration.

One of them calls her to come closer.

Let’s name her ‘Debo.

Adult: ‘Debo, you’re such a big girl now, how’s school
‘Debo: School is fine, aunty. I’m learning lots of stuff everyday.
Adult 2: What do you want to be in future?
‘Debo: *with so much excitement* I want to be a doctor
Parents: LOL!
Mummy: I think you’ll be a lawyer
Daddy: Nah! An engineer

*Everyone laughs together, ‘Debo tra-la-las away*

2014

A sulking 6 year old walks into a room full of adults. With uninterested eyes, she says a hasty hello and runs to her mum.

Let’s name her Tosin.

Tosin: Mummy please can I play with your ipad?
Mum: Not till you greet aunty and uncle properly
*Uncle and aunty fake laugh, Tosin grudgingly walks there*
Tosin: Good afternoon, uncle and aunty
Uncle: How are you my dear?
Tosin: I’m fine :)
Aunty: School is great?
Tosin: Yes
Aunty: You know what you want to be in future yet?
Tosin: *giggles nervously* I’m not sure yet. Maybe a musician or a blogger
Parents: Hahaha! She already knows so much.

Things change brethren, things change. Ask Linda.

Things I’ve Learnt

Err, skip the title.  I haven’t learnt all these things, what, I’m only 22!

Far back when I was 19, I was still a radio junkie. I was listening to one of those shows they had on Cool FM in the night – don’t remember the title or the show now – and the presenter read out all of these with the title “I’ve learnt that…”. I was an agile kid, I took it all down. All of it didn’t add up then, they still all don’t add up now, but, I like them and I’m sharing them and you’re gonna read them 😛

You heard!

I’ve learnt that,

  • Just because you like someone doesn’t mean they’ll like you back
  • It takes years to build trust but only seconds to destroy it
  • You can get on charm for about 15 seconds, after that you had better know something
  • You shouldn’t compare yourself to the best others can do, but the best you can do
  • We don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change
  • You shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret, it could change your life forever
  • Two people can look at the exact same thing and see something different
  • There are many ways of falling and staying in love
  • Your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don’t know you
  • The paradigm we live is not all that’s offered to us
  • What you see isn’t always what you get
  • It’s not what happens to people that’s important, it’s what they do about it
  • No matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides
  • You should always leave loved ones with loving words; it may be the last time you’ll see them
  • You can’t keep going long after you think you can’t
  • No matter how broken your heart is, the world doesn’t stop for your grief
  • The law of give and it shall be given unto you, doesn’t always apply
  • Good or bad sex is just a thing of the mind
  • Just because two people argue doesn’t mean they don’t love each other and because they don’t doesn’t mean they do
  • Sometimes, you have to put the individual ahead of their actions
  • Our backgrounds and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become
  • Sometimes when friends fight, you’re forced to choose sides even when you don’t want to
  • Heroes are people who do what needs to be done, regardless of the consequences
  • Learning to forgive takes practice
  • No matter how good someone is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that
  • It isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others, sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself
  • Absence most times doesn’t make the heart grow fonder
  • Bad things happen to good people
  • The patient dog might just die of hunger
  • Not everyone is cut out for marriage
  • Change is the only constant thing in life

That’s all folks!

Eat. Pray. Love.

I’m sitting up with my laptop on my lap, my legs haphazardly tucked beneath a duvet on the double bed of a hotel room I’m lodged in for two nights, playing the clapping game.

The clapping game has me clapping loudly every 3-7 minutes in arithmetic progression. One clap. Silence. Two claps. Silence….

Thing is, I chose this day to be alone. I just wanted space, I craved it. And I got it. But now, there’s this stray cricket in my room who’s gone insane with the silence around here and is chirping loudly to make the environment livelier. But I do not want lively right now. I want still. As such, I cannot play loud music to deaden its chirping (which is irking me badly) out. I’ve settled for clapping intermittently. It’s working a little bit.

I like being alone a lot. As a matter of fact, much more than I thought. For someone as jovial as me, it’s quite alarming. But yeah, that’s that. I had planned this “holiday” (for lack of better words to describe it) a while ago. I simply wanted a place stay that had no one and would have me lazying around like a brat, reading and maybe just a tad of soul-searching. And it was all working out well, until this cricket thought to chirp.

I’ve been in bed all day, reading Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert – hence the title – and it’s been a good day eating. reading. giggling. For every moment I’ve tried towards soul searching, I’ve dozed off for the next two hours. (That has happened twice) So, I’ve given up. My soul probably needs not be searched.

Last year was all sorts of things for me. Most of all it was such a rush. I basically saw everything and noticed nothing. I just didn’t get the time to. I had said at its beginning that resolutions were flawed, mantras were better. I stuck to “work hard, play hard, love hard”. I only worked hard in the whole year. Mantras are now flawed 😐

I have no exact direction with this. It was born out of my irritation with the chirping sound. It’s silent now, so I can go.

One last thing. This time off has taught me one thing:

There’s only a few things that can make you genuinely happy. Happy without feeling selfish, or having your conscience nag you into asking God for forgiveness. Just genuinely happy in that moment. In yourself. You should seek those things out and do them. All of life is but a dream and you’re entitled to enjoying every bit of it.

You’ve only got one life to live. Make it worth it.

Have a cheerful additional twelvemonth ahead.

Eat.Pray.Love. Giggle and Read too