She’s all I gat

The fondest memories I have of her are our early days. We’d go for summer holidays at our cousin’s. It was always the best part of our year. A house full of at least 12 kids with ages in a geometric sequence with a common ratio not less than 3.  We had crazy times then. At noon, when the power’s out and there’s little to do, we’d all gather in the living room. The chairs were arranged in a semi-circle. They’d put me in the middle and start to chant “Konko Konko Konko… ” with arms stretched out and bribes rolling out.

It was a game and we loved it. The rules of the game were simple. Run into the arms of the one you love the most. It was always the younger ones in the pack. I was the youngest and cutest. I was the centerpiece almost always and even then, making decisions were really tough. I’d hear “Konko, I’ll buy you Ice-cream” “Konko, wafers!” “Konko, I’m your only sister” That was her voice. *shrugs* She’s all I gat.

Growing up together was cruel. I always said I’d give anything to have an extra sibling. Our holidays just never seemed to align. I’d seat on the floor in her room and lay out the Monopoly board. I’d take out tokens for both of us and give us our allocated sums. They I’d set out to play the game alone. I’d say “Bisi play”  and then mimick her voice with a reply then play for her. Very creepy something. But I had and still have very little choices. She’s all I gat.

Somewhere along the line, I loathed her. Not ’cause I wanted to, but ’cause her life became a benchmark for mine. I never ever seemed to meet up and she never seemed to go off course so I could at least have a breather. It just always felt deliberate to me. Like she had it all figured out from time “I’ll be the maven, she’d be the unable apprentice” Those were dark times.  The good thing about time is it passes and important things today aren’t as important tomorrow. What’s that quote about connecting the dots from behind? Looking back, it made me better.

My sister’s taught me too many things. The most being the ability to faff and eat all sort’o junk love. There’s this great feeling knowing that come what may, there’s someone who’s been with you from the start, seen you in all your element and would still love you for you. That’s her. She’s all I gat.

Happy Birthday Bisi. I’m all you’ve gat too. Deal with it 😛

Dithering

You know that feeling old people get when they notice the first greying strand lurking in the midst of their dark mane?

I felt it today.

It’s the same feeling you get when you hear the invigilator yell “30 minutes left” and you look down at your still empty examination script.

Still the same feeling when you’re in a four hundred meters race and in your exhaustion you look up to find your counterpart a few more steps away from the finished line while  you still have a lap to go.

It isn’t about the physical feeling; like a growling in the belly or a skip in one’s heartbeat, it’s the sense of urgency it brings.

Knowing there’s so much to do in so little time.

Knowing the days aren’t measuring up to the goals written.

Knowing that getting a little laxer might get it all crashing down

Today makes it two years since I bagged a degree in Mass Communication

I still question if this is the dream.

 

Just Live

I had planned a more exciting first post, had planned a more exciting feel for my blog, had also planned a more memorable departure from my old blog to the new, And that’s the main problem, everything where I’m concerned always has to be planned. Skillfully articulated with a lot of “What if’s and Maybe nots” and trust me, it’s exhausting.

Today, I’m writing my very first post here and my site’s nothing near complete. I’m still stuck on a title. But I’m here now and that’s all that pretty much counts.

I haven’t written in  a long while but all of that is included in this journey.

I’m taking time out to learn to breathe…
To do the things I love with reckless abandon and JUST LIVE IN THE MOMENT

Welcome to my new title-less blog,

This journey would be worthwhile

Love,
Konko